So I was dating my ex for about 4 months, we were friends for an entire semester of college beforehand.. everything was great. we got along amazingly he treated me well and we were "in love" (ha)
About half way through dating, an ex of his emails me on facebook telling me he is a real legit sociopath who is manipulative with his words and will make me feel like a million bucks (and he did) and he would eventually hurt me and that he did all that to her and was cheating on her the entire time and was probably cheating on me. She was saying it nicely saying that she was just warning me. I guess he did it to her, changed his number and stopped talking to her and then a month later came back to her, she took him back only to be fooled in the end.

of course i told my boyfriend and he had the typical, "shes just trying to get me back and ruin things for us" spill and i of course believed it because we had a good relationship and why fix it if it aint broken? He said he had dated her when he was 18 (hes 24) and said yea he was a young immature jerk to her then but he has gotten over immature game playing and hes matured.

well.. about 2 weeks ago we were still great like usual and one day i get a TEXT MESSAGE saying he was in a dark place and needed space and would really appreciate if i could just respect his wishes and leave him alone for a few days. I called him & he had already turned off his phone. when i got off work he wasnt at his place and i tried for the next day or two to get ahold of him. he wasnt at work and i could only go to his place after work because we live a good 30-45 min away so its not like i could show up super late at night waiting for him to get home.

i was beyond hurt and decided to stop chasing him. my mom always said dont chase a guy, if he wants you he will make it happen, even if it kills you, have self respect..

all i could remember in my head was what his ex had said. he hadnt changed.

so anyways a week went by, i gave up checking up on him only after 2 days and figured to wait it all out. the last thing i wanted was to bully him back into dating me. i wanted to see if he made the effort and he didnt. so after a week of no communication i wrote a huge email to him ( it was the only way i could get ahold of him-) saying how cowardly it was of him to dump me like that if he wanted to end things he should have just done it to my face, or atleast over the phone. and how his ex was right, he hadnt changed from 5 yrs ago. it was a angry, sad, closure email. its hard to go through a break up without any reason, no questions answered, we were completely good and then bam. hes gone.

I get an response from him within an hour and the only thing he has to say is,.

"what can i say...im sick...your taking psychology, you know whats wrong with me. and i cant even say sorry because i dont feel anything. im sick,..."

Wow. i was beyond crushed..the fact that he didnt have any emotion towards me killed me because he was sooo intense and full of thoughts and emotions while we were together. sociopath for sure right?

anyways. now its been 2 weeks post break up & i decided no matter what if he contacted me i would NOT believe any story he had because any guy willing to treat me that way does not deserve me. He cant just get out of breakups by ditching the person..well sure enough today he texts me with a NEW phone numberwanting to talk..i wrote back..

"i dont want to hear your lies, lets leave things the way they are."

im very realistic and also very apprehensive and i have trust issues so i already know whatever story he has, truth or not ( it wont be truth) i wont believe. so why even give him the time of day if i know i wont believe him anyway..Im afraid at the same time i wont believe him but ill just take him back because i miss him, want him, and love him. But the logical side of me says dont be stupid and naive. dont go back to him. he hasnt changed and what he did was cowardly. BUT.. its so hard to not go back to him.. i mean its not like we we had any problems. but then part of me knows he will do this to me again. and hes probably only coming back because hes bored or is having no luck with other women..

i am trying soo hard to ignore him and not give in but it is killing me... should i give him even the chance to explain because i havent let him or just drop him the way he dropped me?

and if he has sociopath tendencies ( he has almost all characteristics of one) then i have to remind myself he never really loved me and its all for his own selfish desires. it hurts my feelings though--
ive had break ups before where both me and ex were sad about it but this guy didnt "feel anything" which is what im trying so hard to remind myself. hes only coming back for himself and sadly i dont mean anything to him.. should i give him a second chance? i dont want to be rude but then again he was without blinking

I think you can do better than a guy who with no real explanation disappears. I'm going to have to agree with his ex and say that he hasn't changed. He sounds selfish and clearly wasn't thinking about your feelings. He even changed his phone number, he may have had another girl on the side, unless you think he changed his number because he didn't want to even take a chance of talking to you. Whatever his reasons they surely can't be enough. You also probably won't believe whatever he says even though you are going to want to and if you are anything like me you will end up taking him back anyways, then the cycle will just begin anew. The only difference is that this time he will respect you even less than before and think that he can get away with more and it won't be long before he's trying. I really don't see a happy ending for you with this guy. Then again I don't really know him so take what I've said with a grain of salt.