he wanted to make love to me before going to sleep, and i said, You haven't said i love you to me today...he got upset and said " i will say it when i wanted it to not when you ask me to", then i refused to make love if he didn't say it before sex...he still refused and went to sleep. Am i wrong? or he really doesn't love me, he always refuses to answer i love you when i ask him if he does.

I think your a bit in the wrong here. Some people don't like to say 'i love you' on command and everyday. You can't tell someone that they love you, it means it's not really from them because your telling them what to do, it's not coming from their heart just from what you wanted.
And just because he didn't say I love you that one time doesn't mean it doesn't love you. He's just trying to prove the point that you can't just ask someone to say I love you, he shouldn't be commanded to say it.