they always talk down to me, i'm 18 now *confused face*

I know how you feel, it is exhausting to not share with anyone. I’ve been researching asperser’s for about a year now and still haven’t brought it up to my parents. For all of the reasons you mentioned above. Always being told, “you’re shy, you’ll grow out of it”. One way you could bring it up to your mom is to get her to read some of the information that you relate to. You could explain how your experiences fit the information she read. It might help give her a clearer picture of asperger’s and take some of the pressure off of you to explain everything. Hope this helps. Good luck.