so like, i had this crush on this guy for soooo long, and now i am in university. according to my love and relationship studies teacher, he says i am doing all the right things to attract him... hhow come he stays away from me?!?! I have adopted a legalist way of dealing with him. after he came out of his class, i cornered him with my plastic knife (so he doesnt get TOO scared) and i said that if he doesnt go out with me i will butter his toast. and he doesnt even like toast!!! haha!!! i thought that would work, but he has been avoiding me. also, i have my yoga classes with him, and i got partnered with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!
Then u had to help ur partner do a plank by stroking their hair to relax them and i got my hair stroked. but while i was doing the plank i felt a tingly sensation in my butt and i farted. the smell of sulfuric acid usually turns guys on, right?
but i think i ruined my chance during sewing. u see, i have a phobia of exploding when holding in pee too long. he sits beside me, and he was complaining to his friend about the coldness of the room, so i decided it was the perfect chance for me to pee on him!!!!! and i did, but now hes avoiding me. any tips?!?!?!?!

Where do you go to school hogwarts? Love and relationship studies, yoga and sewing classes?! Well this is clearly fake but just incase i'd say your best bet is to full on
crap on him, he'd probably like that as the sulphuric faramones will be super concentrated..