"Friends with benefits" is like living on cotton candy and potato chips. If you want something better, you have to be willing to forget instant gratification.

What's the "more" that you want? If it's simply an exclusive relationship based on romantic passion, you'd still have to deal with jealousy, pregnancy scares, financial problems, and the likelihood of a messy breakup.

If the "more" is a solid, loving marriage, that would be a good thing. However, the best chances for that start when you're in your mid-twenties or early thirties. In earlier centuries, when young people didn't need much education, they married in their teens with lots of support from their families and communities. Nowadays, teen marriage is a lot tougher.

One of my acquaintances has a daughter in college. In her senior year, she got engaged to a fellow student. She asked her mom (my friend) what she thought about their leaving the dorm and moving into an apartment together.

My friend said, "As you know, I went back to college to get another degree when I was in my thirties and you and your brother were eleven and thirteen. I wanted to be able to get a well-paying job to help pay for your college educations. When I was in college the first time, I lived in the dorm. It was so easy – I got meals three times a day, sheets and towels once a week, and most of the other necessities were taken care of for me too.

"The second time, I had a household to run. Even though you didn't need baby sitters, neither of you helped much with chores. It was impossible to carry a full course load – taking care of the family took up the equivalent of two or three courses. So, stay in the dorm. Get good grades, line up a decent job, and graduate. Then get married and set up your household. Before that, it would just be risking your career for the instant fun of playing house."

What's the best way to get "more"? Realize that you don't have to compete in the bedroom in order to find a worthwhile partner. Make yourself attractive and desirable, not just for your looks, but for your life skills and abilities as well. It's true that you probably won't have a lot of dates, but if you keep your eyes open and your wits about you, you'll recognize those men who appreciate a young woman with solid moral values. It will be worth the wait.

You need to stick to your beliefs and only have sex when you are in a committed relationship.